Lismilda Paula
April 2011
English 103.
There were many problems going on in the 1970s. One of them was planned shrinkage. Back then there was an economical crisis that was beating Americans on their soles. We came out of Vietnam war to just get hit with an unemployment increasing rate. Roger Starr being the Housing Administrator is being looked at as one of the negative examples who are infiltrating the decrease in housing amongst minorities.
The streets were filled with sex, drugs, and crime and this plagued the areas in where the minorities were settled in. The down fall of one agency affected the other. Since 13.7% of cops which are 4,879 were laid off, the streets became more dangerous. There were less cops protecting these neighborhoods. This led to the increase in crime rates. A perfect example as to how NYC looked in the 1970s is the movie Taxi Driver. In this movie there are shots in which the main character is in his car and there are prostitutes on the streets. Back then it was called Red Light District. The subways were a disaster and there was nothing but junkies doing drugs out in the open. One could say that this was one of the most horrible times in NYC. Many people believed that President Ford wasn’t doing anything to meet with these matters at hand.
Slums are places in which poor people reside due to lack of a stable economical income. The slums were filled with minorities and this is where classification was more brutal especially with housing.
......Not finished.
Okay so, you actually are a great writer with your own unique voice; so I think the last thing you need is someone like me telling you what to work on. Personally, I can't stand peer review. I think it's fine to have someone look over your work and tell you if you got spelling mistakes and typos, or if what you're saying is easy to understand-but other than that I think it's up to each writer to find their own voice and style.
ReplyDeleteLike I said, I think you're there and what you've written here sounds like a nice start to an interesting essay. I like the idea of using a famous movie as an example for the audience to instantly picture in their minds (tho with this group they may not get it).
So, yeah--good luck with the rest of it? haha. No, really, good luck.
1. I am not sure but I see you keyed in the movie "Taxi Driver".
ReplyDelete2. Yes it does.
3. Yes.
4. Not really. However it is just a small draft.
5. No, from what I understood, you were mentioning how other people viewed Roger Starr.
6. I am not sure.
7. You talked more about the effects of these things but not really the philosophy of it all.
8. Yes, you went most in depth with that.
9+10. There are only two paragraphs of this draft but yes there is a transition that also has a separate idea in each.
Overall I think you are doing well.